Whispers


The Breeze blew stronger than usual. It was a dull, grey day and the heavy slate tinted clouds were hanging deep over the wild foaming sea.

The soft rain stung in her weathered face and she tightened the hood of her jacket around her head.

It was like the cold ocean in front of her was angry with the gust lashing through the chilly autumn air.

Sera had always loved the sea. Its changing tempers reminded her of her own frame of mind. Since she was small she always felt an insatiable longing to live close to the ocean. A little cottage, like the one in these wall calendars she used to collect, something quaint, quirky with a window towards that force which determined her life. Every moment of it. Light or dark.

A reticent but loyal companion in Sera’s life.

In times when the fiery burn hit her skin or the painful words cut deep into her being. They were startled, almost suspicious by Sera’s smile under the deep red streaks running down her face and the bruises on her pale skin visible under the rough tears of her dress. They couldn't explain her obvious contentment while ducking under the violent strikes. Or the smile. But they couldn't explain her anyway.

A desolate place where the Mother hid behind trembling insults and blames and the sister behind the safety of complete obedience and unspoken rules of conformity.

Where Deceit and Betrayal was part of the safety blanket.

The nights were worse. The raging punches were nothing in comparison to the moonless nights, which were filled with secret whispers and harrowing agony.

The Ocean was there. Sera could always rely on that.

The Sea was never quiet, sharing all its secret with Sera and listening to all the voiceless screams of anguish and despair. Even when the anxious but friendly people in the white uniforms lifted her carefully onto the narrow bed and the blaring sound of the sirens led them to the hospital, she could count on its loyalty. There in the long silent nights when the pain became beyond endurance and was about to steal her spirit, Sera could almost touch the warm waves of her still confederate. It never left her side.

The vigorous gust had calmed down. Even the stings of the rain had stopped and Sera lifted her hood. The wind brushed through her long dark curls, she closed her eyes and shook her head. Lightness, freedom were the words passing her mind. Free. She felt a weight lifted off her shoulder.

One deep breath and she inhaled the whole force of the cool breeze. Opening her arms wide, Sera started twirling to an unheard sound.

Her eyes towards the sky which started to open up with small light blue tears between the murky clouds.

The wet sand felt grainy under her bare feet and her long skirt was dancing around her legs. The ocean had eased its wildness and was lying tranquil before her feet. The whispering again. Almost like the lullaby which it used to sing her into her only bearable place. Another deep breath and Sera felt the salty taste of the ocean streaming into her lungs. She was almost becoming one with her devoted companion.

Sera took a short glance behind her. The stony cottage with the small rectangular windows. A slight gap in one of them made the white lacy curtains flap slightly in the breeze. She loved this little house standing solid on the bank, even it was the last but constant reminder of a time burnt into every fibre of her wounded soul. The whispers became more urgent and Sera turned her head back towards the soft ripple of the sea.

Where the water had left its deep wavy tracks, the sand was cold. When Sera dipped her foot into the gentle surf of the ocean, a freezing shiver crawled up her body, feeling like every single part of herself was caught and she gasped for breath. She looked out on the horizon. Something had changed. The water had become surprisingly smooth now. No wave, no movement, only these whispers merely Sera was able to perceive.

One last glimpse back to her little colourful home with the white lacy curtains waving to her.

She took one more step and the icy crystal clear water was splashing around her ankles. Sera felt her heart opening and her spirit bearing towards the soft voices. A tremendous wave of deep comfort came over her and the salt of her tears caressed her weary face. When the cold spray touched her skirt she took off her orange jacket and dropped it on the wet sand. Then she put one foot in front of the other. The jacket was lying on the strand and with the next soft wave it was taken into the water. Sera knew now, she felt liberated. Home. Finally.

She didn't hear the sirens of the police car racing up her driveway anymore.

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