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Neptune Neptune

June 11, 2016

 

 

 

Neptune Neptune you planet,

milky blue shiny transparent

floating weightless,

so airy and yet so dense on our lives.

Remote in the depth of the universe

hidden

but still so visible.

 

Mist, Fog

hazing,

not being able to see clear ,

tapping around

and nothing to hold on to

slippery surface inside out

Standing on a bridge filled with

cold fluffy particles

which make you cough

nearly choke and a deep longing

which nearly causes you to fall on the wet dirty ground

of stories of a nearly forgotten yesterday.

 

But there is something dragging you

like slightly pulled by an invisible force

Into the cloud of uncertainty of not knowing

not being able to even guess where you will land

Is it soft like the blanket of grass on a summer meadow

or is it rocky with pebbles cutting new wounds

in your already wounded skin

with the soul screaming without being heard?

And the thread emerging out of the dark back,

past where you still feel you can not let go –

still tied up

tight….

 

The air tastes like salty noise

silently calling you and

you sense the more you try to resist the cloudy force

the more you are dragged in,

into the inscrutable

mist of a dubious outcome,

dissolving your mind,

your stories,

the You

that you always believed is the depth of your very soul….

 

Closing your eyes

not allowing the fog touching your eyes

but it finds its way into your scary-frozen skin

through every pore of

your body,

your soul and after a while

remaining

the almost unbearable sense of being so tired.

Hands already scraped down from vainly,

desperately holding on to the thread of  your old self,

sweat pearls tasting salty running down your face

disported by pain and a frustrated I wont let go NO!!!

 

The last sharp stroke of the string

cutting deep in your palms

strength is fading away of

trying to keep the Old close with you

slowly sliding out

Eyes wide open

panic,

fright

shock

and a last desperate cry out into the empty space

silently dying away in the depths of the muddy dark of an old saga

told too many times….

 

Then a moment of silence…..

 

Collapsing, the pearls of sweat become one with the tears of

exhaustion,

tiredness starts seizing your body inside out

and slowly you turn your sight and you take a first glance

…..

Something else taking over, what is it?

The silent white blue gentle force of the Neptune mist?

Giving up, giving in, letting go, traveling…..

towards the kindly,

nearly caressing voice of the soul,

the new You,

the Real You,

maybe….

who knows….

only Neptune and the stars…..

 

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